“I’m sorry that she cared more about conversion than a relationship.”
I’ve been asking God for friends. I love Japan, but it can be lonely spending day after day meeting new people and having the same small talk over and over again. Those of you who have been on deputation before can probably relate. How is it that you can spend all day talking to people yet feel as if you are alone? I believe God created us for relationship that goes deeper than small talk. Just as He desires relationship with us that is deeper than quick, rehearsed, and repetitive prayers.
In my search for new friends, I came across a woman and her son out on the streets near our home. We saw each other and instantly seemed to connect. We exchanged greetings, chatted for a bit, and then swapped contact information. Let’s meet up at the park and let the kids play together! I was excited. I texted my husband, excitedly sharing that I had found a new friend, that I was eagerly anticipating our second meeting. And she didn’t seem phased when I mentioned that my husband was a pastor, either. Maybe she was an answer to prayer.
One week later, I found myself excitedly headed to the park with Silas in tow. It was a beautiful day with the sun shining and not a cloud in the sky. We parked and headed up towards the kids’ castle. A text arrived: “we’re here. Playing at the castle. See you soon.” It’s a good feeling to have someone to meet at the park, rather than to arrive alone in hopes of finding someone willing to talk.
So we met. The kids started scrambling up the steps of the castle. The young woman introduced a friend she had brought along. Odd, her friend didn’t have a child. Hmm. Within a few minutes the reason became evident. She pulled out a piece of paper resembling a one page news article. An eerie familiarity started to creep into my emotions. She showed me the page and started to talk, confirming my suspicions. This lady and her friend were out for converts, part of a local Buddhist cult that has certain quotas of converts that the members are required to meet each year.
Twenty minutes into our conversation, I excused myself and left. All the ladies wanted to do was try to convince me of their religion. They weren’t interested in talking about anything else. Through broken Japanese I shared scripture with them and told them about my God, the Creator God, the God of the Bible, the one true God. They didn’t particularly care to listen and they didn’t want to move on to any other topics. I walked away sad for their eternities, but having done all I knew to do with my limited language ability.
Why, God? Why would you get my hopes up like this and then let me down? I just wanted a friend. Someone I could talk with, sit with, play with…someone I could witness to and invite to church.
My sister knew of my plans for the day. She knew I was excited. She sent me a message asking how it went. Did we have fun? How was the language barrier? Did we have plans to meet again?
I messaged back downcast. All she cared about was trying to get me into the Buddhist group so that she could put a tally mark on her quotas. We wouldn’t be meeting again.
Then God spoke to me through my sister’s response.
“I’m sorry that she cared more about conversion than a relationship.”
Her words settled deep into my heart. That’s why it hurt, that’s why it felt so wrong, that’s why I walked away feeling so discouraged. But I believe God had a lesson for me to learn through it. That visit to the park wasn’t wasted. Am I taking the time to care about people? Do I treat people more as possible church attendees, converts, and numbers to write home about, or do I see them as souls with an eternal destination that need a friend to come alongside and share hope with them?
Conversion is important. In fact, it’s crucial. It changes eternities. But why would someone listen to me if I am not first their friend? I pray God helps me to love people so much that no one walks away from me feeling like I cared more about their conversion than a relationship with them.
And so the search continues.
Proverbs 18:24 ~ A man that hath friends must shew himself friendly: and there is a friend that sticketh closer than a brother.